Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Haven't Written in Forever

Since I haven't really written in forever I figured I might as well start up again.

I can't really remember dates but here are some of the interesting, and slightly frightening things that have happened to me on the bus since I last wrote:

Let's start with my regular Tuesday bus driver. He's funny and slightly crazy and always remembers me. He likes to comment on how well I'm walking or not walking, which is kind of funny. And he regularly compliments me on how I smell. Being sensitive to bad smells myself I usually load myself up on perfume so people with less personal hygiene can't break through my own wonderful smell. My bus driver always says, "Mm mm! My do you smell fine. I would just love to keep you with me all day to cancel out all the other bad smells that come walkin' onto this bus." Every time it makes me smile.

Seat Happy, also known as George (but lets admit it, that's not nearly as cool of a name) likes to talk to me a lot. For several weeks I didn't see him, but I did today and it's always the same thing. He tells me he has a daughter named Theresa who has five sons, he's washed dishes for the same place for the past 34 years, "yesterday" they served over 400 people, there is one dishwasher that is never any help and then he asks me what time it is. He always acts to nervous, like he's going to miss his stop or be dreadfully late to work, but he always gets off about 12 minutes before his shift starts.

In other, not so regular news, I was asked for money a few weeks ago. By a lady who said she needed money to ride the bus home. When I told her I didn't have any cash on me she immediately said, "Well how do you pay for things?" It was a HUGE mistake to talk to her in the first place. I scoffed at her and headed on my way, she started calling me "prissy" and "snobby" and then started swearing. Because swearing is so mature. When her voice didn't start become softer since I was moving away from her I looked over my soldier. AHH! She was following me! Walking quicker, I felt my self panicking. I had my crutch and if she attacked me I wasn't going to hesitate and beat her. Fortunately for me a businessman walking toward me saw that she was bothering me and immediately started walking next to me. "She is bothering you? Where are you headed? I'll walk you there." So he walked me to my bus stop. She stood across the street from us watching to see if he would leave. Lovely man that he was he didn't budge from his position next to me and glared at her with stony eyes that said, "I dare you to make a move." Finally she gave up and walked back up the street. But Lovely Businessman stood next to me for the 20 minutes it took for my bus to arrive. I felt very safe and protect.

Till next time...

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Aww... Disturbing

I'm sorry I haven't blogged so far this week. But I am now!

Tuesday was an interesting day, Thursday literally nothing interesting happened. It was sad in many ways. Friday was pretty much completely hysterical.

To start off Tuesday I had the most talkative bus driver ever. He told me about his bad knees, and about his Mom who had broken her hip falling down, about his bus routine and about the people that rode his bus. He was willing to talk a lot because for the first fifteen minutes of riding I was the only passenger. Finally someone else got on the bus and it was Seat Happy. For quite some time it was only the two of us and the bus driver and it was interesting hearing all the conversation that went on. Seat Happy told me that he was a dishwasher and had been so for 34 years at the same restaurant. He went every week day at 10 o'clock to relieve another dishwasher who was "absolutely horrible and no help at all." I chuckled at his description and agreed that some people were just that way.

When we got to the first park-n-ride several more people joined us. This must have been "National Be Friendly Day" and I just just missed the memo because complete strangers were talking to each other and me. Talking about their kids and showing pictures and swapping baby stories and explaining what made them name their kids things such as Soarin or Willow or Hope. I do believe I was riding with a bunch of hippies.

The rest of the bus ride was spent in this friendly manner and I got off at my stop still confused as to why everyone was being so friendly and talkative. But it didn't matter, it was rather pleasant.

FRIDAY. What a day. It was funny and odd all at the same time and I kind of had this "Awww.... that's disturbing" feeling. While I was sitting at my second bus stop waiting for it to arrive two flamboyantly gay people joined me on the bench. Sometimes I have to watch gay people for a few minutes before I realize that they are, but these two screamed we're not straight! And I do mean screamed. It started with one of them sitting down with his legs crossed tightly.... too tightly... and him "fluffing" his newspaper. It was amusing so I had to put my head down and pretend like I was really interested in my book to avoid laughing out loud. When the bus finally arrived we all stood up to board it. Noticing I was on a crutch the two lovely men stood aside to let me get on first. One smiled at me sweetly and said, "We're going to let the gorgeous girl go first."

My first reaction was Awww! They think I'm gorgeous... followed by.... that is so weird. Which clearly showed on my face because they gave me a funny look back and the other guy told me in his sweetest, most lispy voice, "Just because we're gay doesn't mean we don't have eyes to see a beautiful woman."

Awwww. You two are so cute and ridiculous. Let me get on the bus and hope I sit in a seat that I can avoid seeing your eyes. Because that would be awkward.

Unfortunately I didn't get that seat. I sat down first and since they followed me they sat across the aisle from me. The read their newspapers and whispered to each other in lispy voices the whole ride and got off only a few stops before me, meaning I had to ride with them the for over an hour. But it was amusing none the less and it made me laugh later. I had to tell everyone because who wouldn't?

Beware RTD riders, if you do something ridiculous you may just end up in my blog.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Boy, do I feel suspected.

Dear Readers, I did not write on Tuesday because my Mom and brother took me to school. It was really quite a shame because I showed up really early and went to the student lounge where I watched some show called "The Herd" or something like that for an hour. I didn't have to watch it, I know, but there really wasn't anything else to do. I watched as some guy ranted for an hour about sports and people and it was quite annoying. I wonder if anyone knows what I'm talking about?

Today was simply ... frightening.

It by no means started that way, but it certainly got there. About two stops after I got on a man sat down near me. Now I always use the handicap seat because I can easily put my crutch underneath it and it's in no one's way. The man that sat near me was about 60 and still hadn't given up the 50s hair oil, slicked back look. First he glares at me for sitting in the handicapped seating and then asks me all suspiciously, "Is that your crutch?"

"Yes sir, that's my crutch."

"Are you using it as a crutch or just as a reason to sit in the best on the bus?"

I don't think it's the best seat in the bus. Everyone can see you sitting there, it faces people, and you face away from the window, and if the bus driver stops are starts to quickly you go flying with nothing to stop you. It's not the best seat in the bus.

"No sir, I have to use it."

"Well, uh, it would appear there ain't nothin' wrong with ya."

For me at this point I would usually explain that I have hip problems. But by now I was really fed up and he was being awfully mean about where I was sitting. I could have offered to move to make him happy. But no! I am a fighter.

"Well, sir, there is. I have to use this crutch and I will sit in this seat."

RUN, FLEE, HIDE!

A look of hate mutated his face. I was trembling a tad but looked him in the eye. There was no way under the sun I was going to lose this battle. Victory! He looked away and sat back in his seat. Moments later the bus was boarded again.

"She's a bird. Don't be scared. He looks like a scarecrow. Everyone stops in the river. Where's your wig? How often do the bees sleep? When will the flowers explode? Why is there no driver on this bus?"

A homeless looking Santa was now on the bus. He had a long, dirty white beard and even filthier clothes. He was evening wearing a very old, grimy and torn up Santa Clause hat. And he was talking a hundred miles a minute, to no one, about nothing. It was always in a loud, sharp voice that could have waked the dead. To my great relief he sat in the very back of the bus, I was in the very front. Nonetheless I could hear every word he was saying. Now he was talking to someone... that wasn't there.

You see every person on this public transportation vehicle get suddenly very uncomfortable. I look of dread filled everyone's eyes. I could feel my own heart racing. Even Seat Happy, who we already know is pretty crazy himself, was looking nervous.

It was the weirdest ride from then on. No one on the bus said a word. Even the bus driver wasn't calling out intersection names. It was like something had zipped everyone's mouth shut. Except, of course, Crazy Santa's mouth. I couldn't find it in myself to be amused by this insane person. Like everyone else I just wanted off the bus and soon. Finally my stop came up, it felt like I had been on the bus about a month at this point, but there it was. Sweet freedom. I enjoyed breathing in the fresh air and listening to the hum of the city.

I hope my ride tomorrow is different.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

You Must be Desperate for a Smoke

If you are reading this you are probably assuming I 1) make all this jazz up 2) surprised that all of this could be happening when I ride the bus 3) confused. 1) I’m no making it up. 2) I am as surprised as you, don’t worry. 3) Confusion adds to the entertainment of every situation.

I should also let you know that Thursday and Friday weren’t too exciting that’s why I’m combining them.

Thursday just started out interesting for me riding the bus. I now know there is a funny little man that I will always ride the bus with on my way to school. He spends most of his time going from seat to seat to seat in the bus, till he’s sat on every single one that isn’t already occupied. Another of his peculiar habits is he wants people to talk to him. He doesn’t want to talk back but he’ll certainly listen. Yesterday he started being very odd. There was a newspaper at a vacant seat so he went over there and opened it up like he was about to read it. Suddenly I hear RIIIIP. I whirl around to see him slowly, and precisely shredding the paper. At first I’m shocked, then I get over this feeling because I’ve observed him to be such an odd duck in the first place, then I’m slightly appalled, followed by the usual amusement I feel.

We were at a park-in-ride and since we were ahead of schedule we waited there for sometime. While we were waiting a couple got on. They had been on the bus for awhile and were settled in when we were about to leave. As we were pulling out a man without a shirt on (it was in his hand) comes dashing across the street in front of the bus. The bus driver had to slam on his break really hard to keep from hitting the man. The shirtless wonder comes around to the bus door and starts to get one. Immediately the driver starts to yell at him that if he doesn’t have a shirt on he can’t board the bus. So donning his shirt he gets on the bus and walks back to the couple that got on only a few minutes before. He grabs a cigarette and heads off. What? You jumped in front of a bus, almost killed yourself in the process just for a smoke?! Where’s you’re common sense, man?!

I know what you are thinking. People really don’t seem to have common sense anymore. It’s really sad and pathetic.

Friday was nothing much except that the bus driver kept stopping when there was no one getting on or off. After doing this several times some fella came up and cussed her out and told her he wanted his money back. The odd thing was he was very well dressed and looked like a nice fellow. Never assume.

That's all for now. Till next time - this is Resa the rider of the RTD.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Fros, Wigs and Confused Drivers

I honestly didn't think I was going to have another day of amusement on the RTD so soon after my other one, but don't underestimate the weirdness of people, especially those that ride the RTD.

Today I got on an earlier bus because I simply did not want to be late to class again. (And here I sit an hour early but I'd rather be an hour early than five minutes late.) It was a whole different group of individuals on the earlier bus. Mostly people going to work... anyway the weirdness started off when an elderly man got on the bus. He went straight to the back of the bus and about thirty seconds later a young man he sat down next to started to have a temper tantrum. I'm not sure about what, exactly but he started swearing a lot and stating, "I don't care how much older you are than me, ol' man!" The older man declared, "Well you should!" Amusing, to say the least. I think what ended the whole scene is that the younger man saw that I was laughing at him, he glared at me, then shut up.

Later, when I was waiting for my second bus I saw the most interesting individual. She was one of the darkest black woman I have ever seen (I'm not trying to be racist, just stating a fact) and she was wearing one of the brightest blond wigs I have ever seen. She was about 50 years old and was singing and talking to herself and she skipped down the sidewalk. When she noticed me watching her she started, loudly, wailing. I was not only amused at this point but also slightly disturbed. Partly because the street was quiet at that point and her wailing was echoing off the walls giving it an extra eerie sound.

Once I was on my second bus we headed toward the school. There was one other passenger on the bus with me, but that was it. When we started nearing the school she requested to get off. The bus driver became very confused, till he saw a bus stop a block ahead... it was not his next stop. However he stopped for the young lady and let her off, then turned to me saying, "I didn't know that bus stop was there. I wonder if I'm supposed to drop people off and pick people of there?!?" Not that entertaining, I know. But still rather funny, to me.

After I got off the buss a guy with a huge fro walks up to me and asks me "How's the leg doin', ace?" I was really confused at this statement and stopped to look down at my legs. What was wrong with them? Oh nothing, I just use a crutch. I smiled up at him and said, "It's been better!" "Well you know you can get painkillers here whenever you need them." As I walked into school I thought this statement over.


OH.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Going to School

On Tuesdays and Thursdays to get to school I ride a bus. At first I didn't think much of this and didn't believe that anything truly strange or exciting could happen. But on my very first trip alone something strange did happen.

The following story is my experience on the bus from my very first day of riding it.

The bus arrived at about 9:45 and left at about 9:48. I climbed on and waited for the hour long trip to be over. Unfortunately the first problem I would have would before I even got to my second bus stop. I knew what cross street I needed to disembark near but I still got off the bus a stop too early and had to hike it to my next bus stop. When I arrived a sweet little old man asked me if I was just sitting down for a rest (I was using my crutch) or if I was waiting for the bus. I told him the bus and he asked me which one. Twelve...

"Oh I just saw twelve go by."

And there wouldn't be another one for another half hour. I sighed, deeply, feeling troubled and most horribly late to class.

I settled into the bench ready for a long wait. When this sweet little old man started talking away. He asked me where I was going and I told him school. Immediately he told me that it took him 50 years to graduate from high school. Because he had been 17 when the Korean war had started and he went and joined the Navy. Instantly I was intrigued because I have studied the Korean War extensively. He went on to tell me of the troubles he had graduating from high school after he returned. Then he told me of how he was born in Denver but during the depression his father moved their family out of Colorado because it was two expensive. He told me this past Christmas was the first one he had spend in Denver since he was three years old. At this point there was a pause in the conversation and because I was SO intrigued by the Korean War I said, "So you were in Korea" hoping to get him to talk more about it. He nodded and continued to tell me about how he was in a boat and didn't ever see too much action. This dear little sweetheart then offered me his sandwich, which I politely declined. After this another man approached the bus stop. Upon seeing him my new friend immediately became agitated and said goodbye and quickly left as fast as his 76 year old body would let him.

This new stranger was something else. He was in his late fifties to early sixties and was stoned out of his ever-lovin' mind. He had dirty long dark gray hair and a foul smell. He started off by asking me if his bus had gone by yet and unfortunately for him... and me... it already had. He then started rant about the darn bus system and the government. The connection between the two was well beyond me. But he was clearly unhappy about something. He paced in front of me shouting and cursing the government all the while shaking like crazy. While this was going on I decided to call my Dad to find out when my bus should arrive. When he answered the weird stranger was still talking so I didn't immediately answer Dad thinking it was rude to interrupt this man, no matter how freakish he was. Dad seemed confused by why no one was talking. I didn't bother to explain it to him, till later that night. All of the sudden he stopped and said very quietly, "Oh this won't do." Confused I became a little bit intrigued. As I watched him he pulled a vile of powder out of his jacket pocket, and a piece of paper. Watching closely I watched him lower himself to the ground and put the paper flat on the ground in front of him. Next he poured out some of the contents of the vile onto the paper and.... you can all probably guess this next part but I was still pretty shocked... he snorted it. I was greatly amused by this and was trying my hardest not to laugh when in a few minutes he stood behind the bench and started to sing. To my great relief the his bus arrived about five minutes later (mine was late!) and he climbed on telling me to have a "super day".

After his bus left I gave myself up to the laughter that had been building up inside of me. I became sober again and concerned waiting for my own bus to arrive. It did and I was indeed late to class...